Our Precious Kanda
""MOM IS""
Coming Back To Life
As the cool air of Spring blows against my face
I realize I am now living in a very different place
Unsure as to what is going on right now
But I believe I am coming back to life somehow
Seasons have merely passed me by for five years
Since my body and mind had silently disappeared
The loss of my daughter completely shut me down
Imprisoned by own grief, I was tied and bound
I had completely lost myself, my being
And to live life again was beyond my seeing
A kind of calm has come over me this year
But I am confused because nothing is clear
Have I actually come back to life this Spring
Or is it a trick of my mind that doesn't mean a thing
And guilt is certainly a familiar aggravation of sort
Because my daughter's life was tragically cut short
I am coming back to life, is this person a "NEW ME"
Because there is no way I am who I used to be
Losing my job of almost 29 years
Threw me into another aspect of life and fears
Unfamiliar this new life I am beginning to live again
Without my daughter, a new mysterious life begins
A wonderful trip to The Dix Strawberry Fest
is planned in May this year
A wonderful trip to The Dix Strawberry Fest
is planned in May this year
Hawkins Orchid was Kanda's favorite place
especially the Fall of each year
Surprisingly, living life again slowly came about
When I was not looking and surely had my doubts
Yet, am I ready to come back to life so soon
Because I am secure in this protective cocoon
Maybe it is time to start over this Spring
But am I truly ready for just about anything
Could it be I am afraid to live life without
my child
Or maybe I don't want to feel life
not even for awhile
There is no choice for me from what
I see
I AM COMING BACK TO LIFE
whatever it may be
Written by Mom
May 21, 2009
KANDA'S 36TH BIRTHDAY
IN MEMORY OF KANDA MICHELLE JACOBS
MAY 24, 1973 - APRIL 13, 2004
"IN MEMORY OF KANDA'S 36TH BIRTHDAY"
Picture taken in 1992
Kanda with Mom and Dad
Our precious daughter would have been 36 years old today
She was born Thursday evening, 1973, on the 24th of May
"OH MY," how our lives have changed these past five long years
And it surely doesn't take much of anything to bring us to tears
Her Angelic Presence is felt in the warmth of the Spring air
And also in the bite of Jack Frost as Autumn arrives each year
"A WONDERFUL LEGACY" she gave to us, her family and friends
Always to be remembered for her contagious laughter and naughty grin
Unbelievably six birthdays have passed since "that" Tuesday in 2004
Oh Lord, we can still visualize her in the variety of colors that she wore
We remember well as she made her "TO DO" lists for Spring planting
Flowers of every gorgeous color she did choose, beautiful and enchanting
Keeping her memory alive deeply within our hearts, gently helps ease the pain
As we must continue to travel this journey, burdened by a heavy ball and chain
During the normal run of a day, we jokingly mention many of her humorous snide remarks
Yet, we still end in silence, familiar this piercing pain, as we continue to embark
Aaron and Ashley have grown up so quickly as young children do
Their lives have been cheated without the love of Aunt Kanda too
Sleep now comes more easily as the years have come and gone
But we continue to wonder "THE WHY" in each morning's DAWN
As the LORD carried and walked along side us each and every step of the way
We now have learned to live without her, yet we will always long for the "YESTERDAY"
Springtime to remain bittersweet, those beautiful months of April and May
Kanda left us April 13th of 2004 and, of course, May 24th is her birthday
Written by Mom
May 2009
FIFTH ANNIVERSARY
Kanda Michelle Jacobs
5/24/73 - 4/13/04
REMEMBRANCE OF SPRING
In Memory of our Kanda
written by Mom
(April 2009)
I remember the season of Spring when I was just a child.
School was ending and most days were warm and mild.
During the 50's and 60's, life seemed to be refreshingly calm
and it was normal for us to live together with our Dad and Mom.
But even with Spring teasing us as it struggled to break through,
the temperature could drop and we may see a few snow flakes too.
With Spring came the beauty of colorful tulips and Easter Lilies each year
Winter was leaving and the geenest grass was again beginning to appear.
The buds of trees were ready to burst open into the splendid color of green.
Providing a shelter for all God's creatures, especially the birds singing wonderfully serene.
A precious gift was God sent when I gave birth to my daughter the 24th of May
I had became a mother in this gorgeous month, 1973, what a wonderful day.
April of 2004, brought tragedy that would rock our very own existence
Losing our daughter to an accidental drowning, we now would walk the distance.
The beauty of Spring became very ugly and gray for many years
May is her birthday, but April 13th marks another anniversary as we shed our tears.
As Spring approaches, it remains two fold bittersweet
With the beauty comes the harsh reality we will never defeat.
School was ending and most days were warm and mild.
During the 50's and 60's, life seemed to be refreshingly calm
and it was normal for us to live together with our Dad and Mom.
But even with Spring teasing us as it struggled to break through,
the temperature could drop and we may see a few snow flakes too.
With Spring came the beauty of colorful tulips and Easter Lilies each year
Winter was leaving and the geenest grass was again beginning to appear.
The buds of trees were ready to burst open into the splendid color of green.
Providing a shelter for all God's creatures, especially the birds singing wonderfully serene.
A precious gift was God sent when I gave birth to my daughter the 24th of May
I had became a mother in this gorgeous month, 1973, what a wonderful day.
April of 2004, brought tragedy that would rock our very own existence
Losing our daughter to an accidental drowning, we now would walk the distance.
The beauty of Spring became very ugly and gray for many years
May is her birthday, but April 13th marks another anniversary as we shed our tears.
As Spring approaches, it remains two fold bittersweet
With the beauty comes the harsh reality we will never defeat.
But with the unbearable grief we have managed to endure these past five years
God has been with us everyday as we have walked this unknown journey
and bravely faced our fears
""IN MEMORY OF OUR ANGEL""
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A very special thank you to those who have
thought of Kanda and her family today.
May 24, 2009
May 24, 2009
Thank you Terrie for the beautiful
Memorial (following)
It has been a tough day as I remembered five years ago, the evening
of April 13th in 2004, the tragedy that took Kanda's
life and I being the one to find my daughter. That memory is always
with me but seems to hurt more today and each anniversary of her
passing.
Kanda's Mom 4ever
Kanda 4ever30
4/13/09 (8:30 PM)
<><><><><><><><><><><>
Dear Dianna,
Prayers and thoughts are with you today on Kanda's angelversary.
Love, Terrie
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