IN LOVING MEMORY OF KANDA MICHELLE JACOBS

 

BY:  Elaine Grier, TCF Atlanta, Ga

(THE COMPASSINATE FRIENDS)

""WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR""

Every time I am in a group of bereaved parents,

I hear people say

things like,

"I wish my child hadn't died" or "I wish I had him

back."

Those wishes, unfortunately, can never come true.

Another wish

I hear is

"I wish my friends

(or church, or neighbors, or relatives)

understood what I am going through

and were more supportive."

This is

a wish that has some possibility of

coming true if we are able to be

honest and assertive with the people around us.

What do we wish

others understood about the loss of our child?

Here is a partial list

of such wishes:

1. I wish you would not be afraid to speak

my child's name.

My child

lived and was important and

I need to hear his name.

2. If I cry or get emotional if

we talk about my child,

I wish you

knew that it isn't because you have hurt me;

the fact that my child

died has caused my tears.

You have allowed me to cry and

thank you.

Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.

3. I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child

again by removing from your

home his pictures, artwork, or other

remembrances.

4. I will have emotional

highs and lows, ups and downs.

I wish you

wouldn't think that if I have a good day

my grief is all over, or

that if I have a bad day

I need psychiatric counseling.

5. I wish you knew that the

death of a child

is different from other

losses and must be viewed separately.

It is the ultimate tragedy and

I wish you wouldn't compare it to

your loss of a parent, a spouse, or

a pet.

6. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious,

so I wish you wouldn't

shy away from me.

7. I wish you knew all of the

"crazy"

grief reactions that I am

having are in fact very normal.

Depression, anger, frustration,

hopelessness,

and the questioning of

values and beliefs are to be

expected following the

death of a child.

8. I wish you wouldn't expect my

grief to be over in six months.

The

first few years are going to be

exceedingly traumatic for us.

As with

alcoholics,

I will never be "cured" or a "former bereaved parent",

but will forevermore be a

"recovering bereaved parent".

9. I wish you understood the

physical reactions to grief.

I may gain

weight or lose weight,

sleep all the time or not at all, develop a

host of illnesses and be accident-prone,

all of which may be related

to my grief.

10. Our child's birthday,

the anniversary of our child's death, and holidays

are a terrible times for us.

I wish you would tell us that you are

thinking about our child on these days,

and if we get quiet and

withdrawn, just know

that we are thinking about our child and don't

try to coerce us into being

cheerful.

11. It is normal and good that most of us

re-examine our faith,

values, and beliefs after losing a child.

We will question things we

have been taught all our lives

and hopefully come to some new

understanding with our God.

I wish you would let me

tangle with my

religion without making me feel guilty.

12. I wish you wouldn't offer me drinks or drugs.

These are just

temporary crutches, and the only way

I can get through this grief is

to experience it.

I have to hurt before I can heal.

13. I wish you understood that grief changes people.

I am not the

same person I was before my child died

and I never will be that

person again.

If you keep waiting for me to

"get back to my old

self ",

you will stay frustrated. I am a

new creature with new

thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values and beliefs.

Please try to get

to know the new me - -

maybe you'll still like me..

Instead of sitting around and waiting

for our wishes to come true, we

have a obligation to

teach people

some of the things we have learned

about our grief.

We can teach these lessons with great

kindness,believing

that people have good intentions and want to do

what is right,

but just don't know what to do with us ,

or we can sit

and wait,

I believe our children would want us to help the world

understand.

 

 

 

 

Reprinted from

TCF NEWLETTER

(Jayne Newton)

 DECEMBER 08

 

"A TIME TO REMEMBER"
Our 8th Annual Memory Tree "In Memory of our Children and Siblings" for the
1st Annual Cobb’s Holiday of Trees is finally here.  Our tree will be
displayed at the Cobb County Civic Center, 548 S. Marietta Pkwy, Marietta,
Georgia from December 6-7, 2008.

For more information about the event visit www.cobbsholidayoftrees.org

The tree was decorated on Thursday, December 4th and ready for public display
during a 2-day festival beginning on Saturday, December 6th.  There will be a
silent auction for all trees and wreaths on display on Saturday, Dec. 6th.

The theme for the Memory Tree  is A Time to Remember.    The tree will be
decorated in greens, browns, creams, cranberry and copper.  The ornaments
will represent time.    Our children and sibling’s names and photos will be
inscribed in a memory book next to the tree.

A sign will be displayed by our tree :
A Time to Remember
The Compassionate Friends
In Memory of Our Children and Siblings


----------------------

In preparation for

THE FESTIVAL OF TREES

Click links below

 

2008 Memory Tree

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/2008MemoryTree.html

Click or Scroll down

The Compassionate Friends of Atlanta 8th Annual Memory Tree  "A Time to Remember" Our 8th Annual Memory Tree "In Memory of our Children and Siblings" for the 1st Annual Cobb’s Holiday of Trees is underway.  Our tree will be displayed at the Cobb County Civic Center, Marietta, Georgia from December 6-7, 2008.  The tree will be decorated on Thursday, December 4th and ready for public display during a 2-day festival beginning on Saturday, December 6th.  There will be a silent auction for all trees and wreaths on display. The theme for the Memory Tree  is “A Time to Remember”.    The tree will be decorated in greens, browns, creams, cranberry and copper.  The ornaments will represent “clocks”.  Our children and sibling’s photos and names will be inscribed in a book next to the tree.  (In the early planning stages, we thought about putting the children's photos on clock ornaments but decided against it.  The photos would have been so small (1" ) that we decided they would be better displayed in a Memory Book next to the tree.  .  We never mail anyone ornaments....they are always sold with the trees each year) A sign will be displayed by our tree : “A Time to Remember” The Compassionate Friends “In Memory of Our Children and Siblings” We are also trying something different this year.  I have set up a group on Facebook specifically for our 2008 Memory Tree Participants.  I am hoping all our families will join and share their children and their stories.As participants join our 2008 Memory Tree, I will send you an invitation to join our Facebook group “2008 Memory Tree”.  This way we only allow our members online.  You will need a “Facebook” account but they are super easy to do.     Thank you again for your support. Jayne Newton, Mickey Crawford and Denisia Boyd   Dear Group, Wayne created 5 different slide shows of this year's memory tree.  There are several ways to view them.  1.  Go to the following website to view the Memory Book http://www.tcfatlanta.org/2008MemoryBookSlideshow/ 2.  Go to the following website to view the Memory Tree http://www.tcfatlanta.org/2008MemoryTreeSlideshow/ 3.  Or You can view them online with high resolution (Wayne likes this one best). Go to the following file and select "run" http://www.tcfatlanta.org/2008MemoryTree.exe When the menu comes up you can select from 5 slide shows. You will need to "type" the number of the show you want to watch by using your keyboard....such as number "1" This file is 30 mb so if you have high speed internet it will take a minute to download... I hope you enjoy the pictures. Thank you to everyone participated in this year's project. God Bless and have a gentle holiday. Jayne Newton, Wayne Newton, Mickey Crawford and Denisia Boyd PS...I have also uploaded the individual pages of the Memory Book to http://www.snapfish.com If you want to order prints for yourself log onto snapfish  http://www.snapfish.com Email   TCFAtlanta@tcfatlanta.org Password  loved Updated November 19, 2008 Online Photos of our Children A Time to Remember ..... Our Precious Child and Siblings Kenneth "Shane" Allen 10/25/77 - 5/30/04 Oxford, GA Jon Michael Altier 11/25/68 - 5/4/02 Williamsburg, VA Steven Amato 12/20/73 - 8/7/93 Wantagh, NY Aaron Andrejco 4/9/81 - 3/12/06 Roswell, GA Samantha "Lynn" Armstrong 2/19/82 - 1/26/04 Temple, GA James R. Avery III 7/15/83 - 9/22/97 Sugar Hill, GA Memorial Thomas Ward Baron 8/26/81 - 7/13/07 Alpharetta, GA Nathan Cozby Barrett 1/4/84 - 2/25/01 Young Harris, GA Ronnie Batchelor Jr. 10/30/77 - 8/14/80 Snellville, GA Nikki Bedingfield 4/22/88 - 6/4/08 Smyrna, GA Adam Belcher 12/01/98 - 10/13/01 Marietta, GA Jennifer Lynne Bleisch 9/18/82 - 01/19/05 Cumming, GA Marjorie Mae Bowen 4/13/66 - 8/19/01 Shortsville, NY Memorial Christopher Boyd  1/29/74 - 7/23/96  Winder, GA  Kevin L. Brady 8/24/65 - 11/18/93 Lawrenceville, GA Frankie Brohm 11/03/81 - 8/29/04 Marietta, GA Kara Leigh Broughton  5/30/75 - 5/8/95  Sun City, AZ Cain Brown 11/01/81 - 6/27/01 Griffin, GA Lori K Brown 09/13/82 - 11/03/03 Powder Springs, GA Dr. Thomas Brown IV 4/8/61 - 7/27/99 Stone Mountain, GA Jessica Lyn Bryl 1/19/77 - 4/3/00 Hilton Head, SC Memorial David William Burns 9/11/72 - 7/02/04 Crawfordville, FL Memorial Cory Alexander Bute 4/2/82 - 6/20/03 Suwanee, GA Chad Campbell 2/20/69 - 8/19/08 Acworth, GA Rachel Anna Campbell 2/13/86 - 11/14/04 New Castle, PA Joey Capron 5/26/63 - 3/17/84 Atlanta, GA Connor Glenn Caracappa 8/22/92 - 3/24/03 Atlanta, GA Memorial Donald Wesley Carithers  6/10/78 -8/8/98 Ellenwood, GA Memorial Anna Elizabeth Chambers 8/29/88 - 7/9/00 Marietta, GA Jason Daniel Cirafisi 12/3/79 - 7/13/03 Collegeville, PA Aaron Jamal Cleveland 2/22/93 - 8/07/08 Marietta, GA John Coggins III 3/8/88 - 10/24/05 Roswell, GA  Memorial Michael Columbus, Jr. 2/14/67 - 11/28/85 Eugene, OR Lauren Careen Cooper 6/18/84 - 8/19/06 Woodstock, GA Alex Costley 6/02/95 - 8/27/06 Kite, GA Robin Ann Craney 3/29/84 - 6/8/01 Aurora, CO Joshua Jennings Crawford 2/15/05 - 12/27/07 Kennesaw, GA Quinntin Albert James Crosswell 11/10/03 - 9/22/04 Invercargill, Southland, New Zealand Matthew (Matt) Thomas Crowell 7/27/82 - 5/24/99 Lilburn, GA Robbert "Robbie" Page Culbertson, Jr. 12/27/06 - 01/07/08 Marietta, GA Scott Robert Cummins 7/26/71 - 1/31/97 Douglasville, GA Clarissa Cunningham 12/8/76 - 8/20/02 Tucker, GA Jason Curnutt 11/26/74 - 4/11/99 San Antonio, TX Jessica Erin Davidson 10/23/95 - 3/13/04 Temple, GA Marci Bee Dayton 3/5/91 - 5/08/05 Hurlock, MD Timmy de St. Aubin 3/4/93 - 7/3/93 Marietta, GA Garrett Jonah DeMarce 9/07/07 - 9/19/07 Smyrna, GA Brian Patrick Devine 6/26/82 - 8/21/05 Lawrenceville, GA AJ DeVol 4/25/86 - 1/28/02 Jenison, MI Nicholas "Nicky" Docu 6/25/93 - 10/21/03 Bronx, NY Jessica Dodge 9/25/87 - 1/14/04 Lilburn, GA Memorial  Joseph Edward Doyle 12/28/76 - 6/6/03 Dunwoody, GA Jacob Drollinger 12/28/80 - 6/29/02 Kennesaw, GA Preston Drummond 8/4/03 - 5/23/05 Temple, GA Memorial Geoffrey P. Edwards 5/6/84 - 5/22/02 Atlantic Highlands, NJ Christopher Faller 5/7/90 - 3/24/98 Pittsburg, PA Memorial Beth Ferriter 12/9/90 - 9/30/97 Penfield, NY Jennifer Jean "JJ" Florence 4/10/83 - 10/3/07 Douglasville, GA Randall Scott Forrester 12/8/63 - 12/13/07 Canton, GA Anke Marjon Furber 4/15/84 - 9/25/05 Marietta, GA Toby Michael Gizzonio 12/9/73 - 8/22/99 Greensboro, NC Chad Gordon 5/21/72 - 9/3/96 Lilburn, GA Memorial Shawn Marie Gordon 5/25/69 - 4/04/03 Lakewood, CO Michelle Marie Greever 8/24/84 - 11/5/93 Colbert, WA Jennifer Gryzinski 4/7/85 - 8/21/03 Lilburn, GA David Haizlip 9/21/75 - 3/26/00 Griffin, GA Thomas Wesley Hardin 11/21/78 - 9/26/05 Acworth, GA Shari Norton Harlen 7/6/64 - 7/6/05 Flora, IL Memorial William Q. "Billy"  Hawley  3/15/83 - 9/27/04  Norcross, GA  Memorial Machera Renee Henderson 3/24/81 - 9/2/00 Alto, GA Micki Henderson 4/25/71 - 12/23/00 Tyrone, GA Cloey Herring 11/3/69 - 6/4/07 Marietta, GA Kay Cee Herring 7/07/76 - 12/01/99 Buford, GA Brian Hoefler 9/8/84 - 5/8/06 Acworth, GA David Hoegler 12/18/80 - 12/16/03 Anderson, SC Drew Holder 3/11/68 - 2/01/99 Powder Springs, GA Martin Oldrich Holubar 1/31/86 - 7/21/05 Canton, GA Josh Hughes 4/30/82 - 11/07/03 Sykesville, MD Ashley Lauren Hull 3/30/84 - 10/27/02 Lawrenceville, GA Memorial Carissa Hunsaker 10/19/94 - 10/20/95 Bryant, AR Memorial Brent Edward Jacobs 8/4/87 - 10/24/08 Douglasville, GA Kanda Michelle Jacobs  5/24/73 - 4/13/04 Flora, IL  Memorial Mathew Jameson 8/19/88 - 3/25/05 Ontario, Canada Trent William Johnson 1/30/01 – 8/5/02 Alpharetta, GA Luke Edward Jordan 8/11/99 - 1/04/05 Powder Springs, GA Memorial Justin Leon Kavaryants 1/14/04 - 8/7/06 Douglasville, GA David Patrick Keel 5/16/03 - 6/03/03 Johns Creek, GA Brooke Leah Knapp 1/10/05 - 11/9/06 Villa Rica, GA Matthew Kusila 8/25/89 - 9/11/90 Wantagh, NY Janet Ford Lambert 8/14/55 - 11/27/96 Irving, TX Daniel Langley 8/3/79 - 3/21/02 Bear, DE Karla Leija 6/26/84 - 9/20/05 San Antonio, TX Kellie Louise Larivee 3/10/86 - 1/08/00 East Hartford, CT Cathleen Lavelle 11/7/69 - 9/2/07 Marietta, GA Joey Lee Long 11/29/83 - 4/8/01 Havana, IL Felipe Mansur Machado 6/5/85 - 8/18/06 Atlanta, GA Jason Maham 4/28/75 - 8/17/04 Sugar Hill, GA Chris Mainhart 3/30/79 - 8/24/03 Sarver, PA Robert Malkin 11/5/76 - 5/4/98 Clermont, FL Mandi Lynn Mast 6/29/80 - 8/15/00 Newborn, GA Kathy J. Maynard 1/13/73 - 6/1/99 Gifford, PA Jason McCoy 12/21/73 - 1/31/02 Mooresville, NC Autumn "Nikki" Mendoza 10/31/84 - 8/4/03 Batesville, AR Lisa Mewbourne 9/23/65 - 4/23/91 Atlanta, GA Memorial Kimberly Ann Moore 12/07/78 - 11/14/97 Lubbock, TX Ted G. Moore 7/3/48 - 5/2/08 Tuckasegee, NC Norma Ann Mucha 4/11/63 - 12/25/06 Covington, GA Samantha Mucha 3/17/90 - 12/25/06 Lawrenceville, GA Megan Murphy 8/28/79 - 4/27/01 Murfreesboro, TN Jill Michiko Nakawatase 9/29/79 - 3/8/04 Lodi, CA Valerie Longo-Nevel 4/02/71 - 1/11/05 Port St. Lucie, FL Paula Joanne Normore 9/10/86 - 1/19/01 L'Anse Au Loup NL Canada Christi Michelle Nowak 2/5/85 - 10/5/05 Woodstock, GA Clayton Olvey 11/30/70 - 1/12/98 Cumming, GA Ricky Otter  7/15/84 - 11/14/03 Woodville, ON Canada  Vicki Oxford 6/17/71 - 10/25/03 Marietta, GA Brian Parker 4/12/73 - 3/22/01 Forest City, PA Timothy Parker 4/5/75 - 3/22/01 Forest City, PA  Trena Joe Patterson 1/24/56 - 12/01/98 Douglasville, GA Jefferey Armstrong Patterson 6/28/80 - 4/26/01 Marietta, GA Ariana Payne 10/18/02 - 2/18/06 Eatontown, NJ Tyler Payne 11/15/01 - 2006 Eatontown, NJ Christopher Pereida 8/31/80 - 8/31/00 Lubbock, TX Maggie Perkins 3/31/64 - 1/23/97 Doraville, GA Charles Pilgreen 1/28/61 - 3/19/94 Birmingham, AL Derrick Plankenhorn 11/7/84 - 2/19/03 Brooklet, GA Alex "Brett" Powell 1/14/83 - 7/28/06 Douglasville, GA Jeffrey Lee Powell 8/06/84 - 4/27/02 Douglasville, GA Joshua E. Ramsey 3/2/78 - 7/26/07 Winder, GA Dylan Kane Rhodes 7/26/05 - 9/15/05 Hampton, GA Wesley Roberts 10/23/84 - 3/24/02 Pendergrass, GA Ryan Douglas Romanoski 11/1/71 - 4/5/03 Anaheim Hills, CA Cheryl Joy Rojek 2/24/80 - 7/27/05 Roswell, GA Stephen L. Roux 8/11/70 - 9/12/95 Apalachicola, FL Ashley Sabbatino 5/24/90 - 7/20/07 Acworth, GA Charisma T. I. Sanders 4/07/86 - 4/29/06 Tucker, GA Sarah Elizabeth Schildroth 9/24/03 - 11/28/03 Douglasville, GA Brian C. Schuster 5/07/78 - 2/14/98 Jefferson, GA Matthew Donald Seavers 1/1/99 - 6/13/08 Alpharetta, GA Memorial Clayton Barrett Shadinger 2/8/79 - 1/2/97 Lilburn, GA Allen Palmer Shugart 3/04/02 - 7/23/05 Suwanee, GA Christopher Lee Simpson 8/22/78 - 5/9/95 Norcross, GA Marina "Lelu" Slama 9/30/98 - 8/04/02 Powder Springs, GA Tony Ray Smiley 5/17/86 - 6/12/02 Grant Park, IL J. Daniel Smith 11/06/81 - 8/26/91 Tucker, GA Tammy Renee Smith 3/29/81 - 1/30/03 Belmont, NY Shawna Stevens 2/6/82 - 11/8/99 Petal, MS Steven Smith 10/13/81 - 6/01/04 Douglasville, GA Nathanael Tate 2/24/04 - 6/02/06 Lawrenceville, GA Christopher Neil Thomas 9/12/89 - 11/19/05 Okolona, MS Memorial Amber Leigh Thompson 5/16/81 - 12/14/01 Douglasville, GA Memorial Melanie Brooke Thompson 5/11/79 - 2/15/99 Tuckasegee, NC Evan Throckmorton 2/7/83 - 4/21/04 Douglasville, GA Memorial Michelle Stanton Turner 7/25/03 - 12/19/05 San Antonio, TX Amy Uhland 10/10/74 - 8/25/97 Lawrenceville, GA Corey G. Vaughan 7/3/80 - 2/26/02 Jacksonville, AR Joshua D. Waggoner 5/25/90 - 3/26/08 Hoschton, GA Clinton Ron Walker 1/31/91 - 02/07/08 Stockbridge, GA Memorial Adam Walden Ward 7/3/72 - 4/4/02 Conyers, GA Amanda Warnock 11/13/87 - 5/6/01 Winder, GA Matthew Weeks 6/4/99 - 7/7/01 Tunnel Hill, GA Memorial Teresa Wesley 4/25/68 - 10/02/93 Economy, IN Kristina "Nina" Westmoreland 9/24/79 - 5/11/95 Cottage Grove, MN Aaron Geddings Williams 8/3/98 - 12/16/00 Summerville, SC Philip Brett Williams 8/23/84 - 11/30/97 Rome, GA Jason Wilshe 5/6/91 - 1/25/03 San Diego, CA Randy Wright 7/9/65 - 7/31/78 Clarkdale, GA   "Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." Henry Van Dyke      Happy glowing faces, upon this Christmas Tree   Each marked in time, for our eternity.   Time moves on but can not erase   The love we have for each Child's face. Written by Sheila Simmons In Memory of her son Steven Simmons 3/24/70 - 10/19/99 Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.... ~shared by Linda Allen In Memory of her son Kenneth "Shane Allen 10/25/77 - 5/30/04 A TIME TO REMEMBER   A time to remember will always be there, In our minds and our hearts our children’s memories are clear.   Our worlds stopped when our children died. Time stood still! We were in shock, we denied, we cried. How could we continue on through this grief and this pain? This had to be some horrible trick or game!     We have tried to live on, then we are told to forget! But how can we? We are not through grieving yet. “Time heals all wounds,” we have heard it said, But our hearts are bleeding --- our children are dead!    A time is set aside in our nation to remember Great heroes and events. Sometimes we remember in honor and celebration - Sometimes, in reverence and lament.   Likewise, a time to remember our children will always be there, In our minds and our hearts our children’s memories are near!   By Faye McCord, in loving memory of my son, Lane McCord (1/26/65-9/13/98)   TIME I thought that time was healing All the hurt you left behind That empty spaces could be filled My arms, my heart, my mind And though my body looks the same As it did when you were here The emptiness grows inside me More with each passing year I thought that time was healing All the heartbreak and the pain That as the tears were fading Soon I wouldn’t feel the same And though I can be smiling And you think that I’ll survive The pain is in my blood now I have nowhere else to hide I thought that time was healing All the loss a mother feels That now you live within my heart I had you near me still But I need so much to touch you To hold you close once more And those memories I’m told are mine Can never be as before I thought that time was healing All the while the mask was being worn That underneath a new me  Was waiting to be born But now I find I am the mask It helps to keep me safe And though my heart is breaking You won’t see it on my face I thought that time was healing All those tears my eyes have seen That aching arms that miss you Could be satisfied with dreams But here I am, in pain again And healing stands alone And a mother weeps, the world can see For a child who can't come home In Memory of AJ DeVol 4/25/86 - 1/28/02 submitted by his mother, Connie DeVol A Time to Remember Tick tock, tick tock, The hands keep turning on the clock. It's been six years, And we've shed many tears, Since she left. Some times were good, Some times were bad, Some times were sad, While she was here. But now that she's gone, Out of respect for her, We want to remember The good times mostly, While acknowledging that most lives, Have some down turns. It seems so long, Since she's been gone, But remembering her, Will take much longer......, The rest of our lives! Written by David Haddock In memory of Bonnie Catherine Haddock (02/06/1985-08/13/2002)   “A Time to Remember”   A time to remember we do it everyday A time to remember since you went away A time to remember five years have gone by A time to remember we still are asking why A time to remember you were only 18 years old A time to remember so much life left untold A time to remember our middle son and brother A time to remember you above all others A time to remember we miss you so very much A time to remember all lives you have touched A time to remember you’re one of heaven’s shinning stars A time to remember as we look at you from afar A time to remember all our love to you we send A time to remember till the day we see you again Derrick Floyd Plankenhorn 11/7/84 – 2/19/03 To you Derrick from mama…. Billie Plankenhorn     Poem by Dianna Jacobs Kanda's Mom   ""IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN""  It's that TIME again,  to remember when.  The year 1973 and freezing cold  when you were only 7 months old.  It's that TIME again,  to remember when.  Your favorite Christmas, 9 years old,  brand new bikes, if only I had known.  It's that TIME again,  to remember when.  Christmas now 35 years later,  and my pain sometimes is greater.  It's that TIME again,  to remember when.  This, the fifth December since you left,  and somehow, we still do our best.  It's that TIME again, to remember when. Our fun loving shopping trips,  never a Christmas, did we skip.  It's that TIME again,  to remember when.  How terribly sad I am without you,  not only at Christmas, the whole year through.  It's that TIME again,  to remember when.  My family so very wonderfully complete,  last Christmas of 2003, never to repeat.  It's that TIME again,  to remember when.  The True Reason For The Season!!!  IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!!!! ""Christmas 2008""    In Memory of my daughter,  Kanda Michelle Jacobs  5/24/73 - 4/13/04  written by Mom, Dianna Jacobs, Flora, IL 2007 Memory Tree 2007 Memory Book Decorating the tree - 2007  2007 Festival of Trees     Permission granted to The Compassionate Friends of Atlanta to use Tineke's graphics.

Photos of our children and siblings

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/A_Time_To_Remember_2008_Memory_Tree/

 

 

Click links below

""A TIME TO REMEMBER""

DECEMBER 2008

 

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/2008MemoryBookSlideshow/

To view entire Memory Book, please click link above

In Memory of Cousins

 Kanda and Shari

Image 156 of Memory Book

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/2008MemoryTreeSlideshow/

To View Memory Tree Slides, click above

 

-----------------------------------------------------


Cobb's Holiday of Trees is a two-day, community-wide event featuring a silent
auction of decorated holiday trees. Sponsored by Cobb County Government, this
event will also include our annual candy cane hunt, entertainment, food,
Santa pictures, arts and crafts, and much more!  All proceeds from the sale
of auctioned trees will support two charities: the March of Dimes and Special
Olympics-GA-Cobb.

Thank you to the

TFC of Atlanta, Georgia

from

The family of Kanda and Shari

(ALL LINKS LISTED ARE COPYRIGHT OF)

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/

 

OUR APPRECIATION

FROM

THE FAMILY OF

KANDA MICHELLE JACOBS

AND

SHARI HARLAN

FLORA, ILLINOIS 62839

AND

CLAY CITY, ILLINOIS 62824

 

"" SOME STAR LIT NIGHT""

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/FestivalofTrees2007.html

2007 Memory Tree
"Star Lit Night"

 

Beyond words am I, Kanda's Mom, after viewing this beautiful

""STAR LIT NIGHT MEMORIAL TREE,""

and my

sincere appreciation to Wayne and Jayne, also

to those volunteers generously giving

of themselves at this busy time of year to assure our children will always

be remembered as years go by,

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/MemoryTree2007/DecoratingTree/Decorating_Tree_2007.html

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/MemoryTree2007/FOT/FOT.html

 

Indescribable, my feeling, the warm comfort and solitude, after locating,

and

viewing, not only

my daughter's name, KANDA JACOBS,

 but also

 my niece's name SHARI HARLAN,

displayed so beautifully in

THE PRECIOUS MEMORIAL BOOK

BRINGING

""ALL""

OUR BELOVED ANGEL CHILDREN,

TOGETHER

DURING THE 2007 FESTIVAL OF TREES

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/MemoryTree2007/MemoryBook/Memory_Book.html

 

THE ATLANTA GEORGIA COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS CHAPTER,

proudly a member, am I, Kanda Angel's Mom,

and

tearing,

appreciative,

 as TCF welcomed me graciously,

also,

my BELOVED daughter

AND

my BELOVED niece

 

My only regret is the distance between Illinois

and Georgia,

but

THANK THE LORD FOR THE INTERNET,

 BONDING THOSE OF US

 WALKING THE SAME GRIEF JOURNEY.

 

""IN MEMORY OF OUR PRECIOUS BELOVED SONS AND DAUGHTERS""

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/wall.html

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/TCFOnline.html

THE ATLANTA CHAPTER OF TCF

""WALK TO REMEMBER""

 

JULY 20, 2008

NASHVILLE, TN

 

IN MEMORY OF MY DAUGHTER,

MY BEST FRIEND

KANDA MICHELLE JACOBS

5/24/73 - 4/13/04

 

Written by Dianna Jacobs

 

TCF Atlanta Chapter

TCF Atlanta Home Page

 

 

Since the location of

The Annual Compassionate Friends'

Convention

 and

 "THE WALK TO REMEMBER"

 was within 300 miles of my hometown of

 Flora, Illinois,

 I began making preparations to attend.

 

There were no vacancies at the

 Sheraton Music City Hotel

 which had been reserved for all

Chapters of

THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS.

 

 

Not to worry, I was immediately directed to

THE MARRIOTT

 at the Courtyard Nashville Airport

and I would later discover this motel was

only a half mile from

the

 Sheraton Music City Hotel.

 

 My sister in law, Kay, from Joliet Illinois,

drove the 200 miles to Flora to accompany

me to Nashville.

 

 

Thank you, Kay,

for the giving of your time to ensure

we would walk in

THE WALK TO REMEMBER

 IN KANDA'S MEMORY.

 

Since I have very dear friends,

 originally from my hometown of Flora, Illinois,

but now live in the Nashville area,

 Kay and I were much more at ease

 with their knowledge of

Nashville.

 

 I would like to take this opportunity to thank

 JUDY AND ARTY

for giving us a tour of the

 THE GRAND OLD OPRY HOTEL

AND

TREATING US TO DINNER

 prior

 to our attending the

 candle light ceremony held at

 THE SHERATON MUSIC CITY HOTEL

Saturday evening at 8:00 PM, July 19th, 2008.

 

It was my first candle light ceremony

and

I thank the Lord,

although I did become emotional,

 I was given this wonderful opportunity.

 

Without my companions, Kay,

and good friends, Judy and Arty,

all I experienced would not have been possible.

I owe all of them a debt of gratitude.

 

""THE WALK TO REMEMBER""

 began at 8:00 AM at the Sheraton Music City Hotel.

 

 I was in amazement of  the many

 Compassionate Friends'

 Chapter Banners

from

everywhere in the US. 

 

Pictures may be viewed on the next page,

following this page title. 

 

I am an online member of

 The Atlanta Compassionate Friends

 and we searched for quite some

time to locate this particular banner.

 

We would walk with The Atlanta Banner

with our loved ones' names.

 

 I again would also like to thank

Judy and Arty

 for walking in

THE WALK TO REMEMBER.

 

The four of us walked not only

 IN KANDA'S MEMORY,

 but also for

ALL OUR CHILDREN REMEMBERED.

 

 

 

I also carried another angel on my shoulder,

Geoff, son of Karen Jenkins

...............................................................

 

I have met,

through the Atlanta online sharing newsletter,

a lovely lady,

a bereaved mother who only lives 25 miles East of

my hometown. 

 

She had contacted me by email after reading

 KANDA'S STORY, which included Flora, Illinois,

that was published in the online sharing

 Atlanta Compassionate Friends newsletter.

 

 By mentioning Flora, Illinois, Cheryl was astonished

because we were actually neighbors,

 living less than 30 miles apart. 

We met because I added FLORA, IL in Kanda's

story of her life and her tragic death.

 

We have now become very good friends.

I also, at this time,

 want to thank Jayne and Wayne Newton,

 who give of their time as

 webmasters for the

Atlanta Compassionate Friends'

website

and the online sharing newsletter. 

 

Cheryl was in Nashville from Wednesday to Sunday,

so she attended many

conferences and workshops. 

 She and I,

even with over 1300 attendees at

 The Compassionate Friends' Convention,

 bumped into each other 3 times.

 

As I was walking

in the

 WALK TO REMEMBER

with

my good friends,

JUDY AND ARTY

and my sister in law,

KAY,

 Cheryl walked

up behind me and I could not believe

THE NEWTON, TCF of S/E ILLINOIS

COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS BANNER

was in line directly behind

THE ATLANTA BANNER.

 

Was it coincidence or maybe

 we possibly had a bit of help from above,

I do have to wonder,

 but I will never forget that

Cheryl, her husband, Robert and I walked  together,

for a short period of time,

  a memory I will always hold close to my heart.

 

We walked together

IN MEMORY OF BRETT AND KANDA.

 

She is a wonderful friend I would have never met,

had there not been an Atlanta sharing newsletter.

 

Again, thank you Jayne and Wayne.

 

Occasionally,

 Cheryl attends our small bereavement group in

 Flora, Illinois.

We truly enjoy her friendship.

 

She is instrumental in working

with the

city of Olney, Illinois for the completion of

 THE ANGEL OF HOPE MEMORIAL.

To read this article, please click link below.

 

http://mychildlossgrief.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=101&Itemid=103

 

 

Newton, Illinois is approximately 50 miles

North/East of Flora, Illinois,

but much closer for Cheryl so she is a member

of the Newton Compassionate Friends.

 I have yet to even attend a

 Compassionate Friends Meeting,

 but have

always been well satisfied with our

 small bereavement support group

 Flora, Illinois

 Y. A. N. A.

(YOU ARE NOT ALONE.)

http://www.yanasupport.com

 

 Since Flora is a rather small town,

 our bereavement group is open

 to all

and for any kind of loss.

 

 I am very

thankful to be a member of this group.

 

Attending YANA meetings

has helped me survive these past

 4 years since April 13, 2004.

 

I would also like to thank Becky

 for initiating our first

 bereavement group meeting after the

loss of my daughter, Kanda.

 

  I am so very

blessed with many friends

 and relatives who helped me stand when

 I wanted to crawl

as I faced going into the first couple of

years without my daughter, my best friend. 

 

My dear friend, Berdella,

 who supported and held me up many days,

 while we were at work,

 would also face the loss of her precious daughter,

Kimberlee, September 18th, 2007.

 

  How could this happen to Berdella?

 It is still difficult to believe that we both now live

 without our daughters. 

 

Click below for Kimberlee's Memorial

http://www.yanasupport.com/preciousmemorial.htm

 

 

 Also, I wanted to meet, in person, Mitch Carmody,

 who I know through the Atlanta online sharing newsletter

of

THE ATLANTA COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS.

 

He and his wife have dedicated their lives to

 giving and supporting

bereaved parents

since the loss of their precious young son

many years ago.

 

As fate would have it,

 I did meet Mitch and his lovely wife

at the closing of the candle lighting ceremony.

 I would like to

also thank them for all they give to those of us

 who are walking our dark journey

but not knowing to where.

 

 I am so very honored to have met Mitch in person.

  He is working on a pencil sketching of Kanda for me.

I have listed the link to his website.

Please take a moment and browse his website and don't

forget to view his pencil sketchings,

 especially

THE FACES OF GRIEF.

 Mitch is a God Send with great talent.

http://www.heartlightstudios.net/home

Click above to meet Mitch                

 

  Gail and I met through Grieving Parents

 online and,

PRAISE GOD,

 we also met in person

during the

Walk To Remember in Nashville.

 

Gail emailed me the following

picture after she returned home

to Georgia.

  Strangely,

we did not know each other at the time

  we both were taking pictures

 of

THE ATLANTA BANNER

when she snapped this  awesome picture,

my shadow, with camera in hand, over

THE ATLANTA BANNER.

 

 I thank you Gail,

 for sharing your pictures

 and

 most of all for being a

 dear friend.

I enjoyed talking with you after

THE WALK TO REMEMBER.

 

http://www.grieving-parents.com

click above

  

I felt as though I had accomplished

what I had set out to do,

 meeting those in person I had only known online,

 by attending the candle light ceremony and the

best ever, walking in

THE WALK TO REMEMBER,

JULY 20, 2008

 in

 NASHVILLE, TN

 at the

Sheraton Music City Hotel

 

Would I go again to

 THE ANNUAL COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS

 CONVENTION AND WALK TO REMEMBER??

 My answer is ABSOLUTELY.

 

Kay and I were unable to attend the workshops and conferences

 because we did not arrive in Nashville

until Saturday afternoon, but

if the location, in the future, for the annual

National Conference and Walk To Remember

is in St Louis, Mo, or Chicago, IL. we will certainly

 be making plans at the earliest possible.

 

  Because I

have been to Nashville,

I now know what to expect.

 

I have attended one

 Walk To Remember and look forward to walking again.

 

But  if I never go to another

National Conference and Walk To Remember,

I feel honored to have walked in Nashville,

July 20, 2008

8:00 AM, Sunday

""IN MEMORY OF OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN""

 

 

…………………………………………………………………………………..

 

To browse more pictures from the

annual

Compassionate Friends'Convention

and

Walk To Remember, please click below.

 

Copied from

THE ATLANTA SHARING NEWSLETTER

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8BZNWjlyyaMU0

 

Amanda Drummond

><><><><><><>< 

 

To browse the pictures taken by Kanda's family and friends,

WALK TO REMEMBER IN JULY 2008

click below

http://www.kandamjacobs.com/apps/photos/album?albumid=6142317

 

 

More great pictures of

 THE WALK TO REMEMBER AND CONVENTION. 

Click below.

http://www.aldevol.smugmug.com

http://www.aldevol.smugmug.com/TCF%20Nashville%202008

 

 

Click link below for

 The Atlanta Compassionate Friends'

Website

http://www.tcfatlanta.org/AtlantaWalks2008.html

 

 

 

Thank you from Kanda's Mom

 

""IN MEMORY OF MY PRECIOUS KANDA ANGEL""