MOTHER'S DAY 2006
OH MY KANDA, another Mother's Day has passed, the 3rd since you left us
but it seemed this MOTHER'S DAY OF 06 just absolutely ripped my HEART OUT,
unbelievable that I have lived without you for over 2 years now and I feel only
HALF A MOTHER as I wanted to spend MOTHER'S DAY ALONE, just reclining and
thinking about you and all the fun we had together, maybe just wanted to wallow
in my own GRIEF and SELF PITY, I don't know. But I did not want to be around
anybody, just alone with YOU.
Your brother, Jerrin, surprised me and sent a candle and balloons to work on
Friday before Mother's Day from he and Ashley and Desi, your nephew's and
neice's mother, gave me the most beautiful card that I will always treasure. I cried my heart
out as I read the card that I know, by reading the warm, loving, words, she had
taken some time in finding, just the perfect card for a MOTHER WHO WAS HURTING
SO BADLY, MISSING HER ONLY DAUGHTER.
I thank you Jerrin, Ashley, Aaron and Desi for the GIVING OF YOUR HEART to me
on MOTHER'S DAY.
I truly have blessings in my life, but it still just HURTS SO MUCH not to have you, MY KANDA.
In checking through the book "STARS IN THE DEEPEST NIGHT" BY GENESSE GENTRY,
I was pleased to find a poem by Genessee that was exactly HOW I FELT THIS
PAST MOTHER'S DAY OF 06:
"FREEFALLING"
World crashing,
destroying us.
Life melting,
ashes, dust.
Half of my mother-hood,
gone.
Gapping hole in existence,
so wrong.
I thought I would die;
I did.
Wounded, deep inside,
I hid.
No ground beneath,
to stand.
Falling through space,
no land.
Forgetting to breathe,
no air.
Finding myself,
nowhere.
Thank you, Genesse